Most of us know the parable of the blind men and the elephant: each person touches only one part of the animal and interprets it as the whole. Now imagine replacing the elephant with the topic of men’s mental health — suddenly, the image makes sense. Everyone sees a piece of the problem, but rarely the whole picture.
The Ears: What the Data Say
Across the world, men live shorter lives than women. In the European Union, the life expectancy gap averages six years. This is not because women live unusually long, but because men die earlier.
The reasons are only partly biological. Men engage in more than 30 risky behaviors linked to higher morbidity and mortality. They are more likely to fight, commit and suffer from violence, take risks in traffic, misuse alcohol and substances, neglect workplace safety, and die by suicide.
Although women are statistically more likely to be diagnosed with depression, men die by suicide at much higher rates. Many men externalize psychological pain through aggression, substance use, or somatic symptoms, rather than seeking help. This diagnostic gap — depression overlooked in men — is one of the hidden crises of modern psychiatry.
In the U.S., so-called “deaths of despair” (suicide, overdoses, and alcohol-related disease) have risen sharply, especially among less-educated men, a trend now reflected in Europe as well.
At the same time, social shifts complicate the picture. Women have surpassed men in education levels in younger generations and have seen steady income growth, while many men remain stuck in insecure, low-paid jobs. This contributes to frustration, resentment, and susceptibility to populist narratives that blame women or other marginalized groups for men’s struggles.
The Trunk: What Does It Mean to Be a “Real Man”?
Social norms are powerful determinants of health. Traditional masculinity has long emphasized stoicism, dominance, self-reliance, and emotional restriction. Men who fail to live up to these expectations often feel inadequate, hide vulnerability, and turn to destructive coping behaviors.
This is where health risks and gender norms intersect. In short: men sometimes die to prove they are men.
But masculinity is not fixed. When societies critically examine and transform harmful gender norms, space opens for healthier expressions of manhood — empathy, responsibility, care for self and others. These are just as “masculine” as stoicism or dominance, but they rarely receive equal recognition.
The Tail: Where We Go From Here
As societies evolve, so do expectations of men. No longer defined solely as providers and protectors, men today face new challenges: redefining value, building resilience, and learning to tolerate frustration constructively.
Supporting men in this transition is not only a matter of fairness, but of public health. By giving men the resources and tools to face these challenges, we strengthen families, support women’s equality, and improve outcomes for children and communities.
Recognizing the complexity of men’s experiences allows us to hold them accountable for harmful behaviors while also creating structures that support healthier, more connected lives. Investing in men’s mental health is, ultimately, an investment in society as a whole.
*this text was originally written by my collegue Natko (also an MD and men’s mental health worker) and me.
