When Grades Become Identity: A Note for All Students
You pass an exam and suddenly, the world feels brighter.
You fail one and it’s as if everything you’ve built starts to crumble.
For many students, whether in high school, studying medicine, or pursuing a PhD, self-worth is closely tied to academic success. The grade on a paper, the number on a transcript, or even the nod from a professor can become a measure of value as a person. When things go well, confidence rises. But when they don’t, thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “Everyone will see I don’t belong here” can take over.
This mindset doesn’t appear overnight. It’s shaped long before university, through years of hard work, praise, and expectation. Many students who end up in medical school have been the ones who always excelled, the ones teachers pointed to as examples, the ones parents proudly spoke about. Success became familiar, and expected.
But once at university, the landscape changes. Everyone is smart. Everyone works hard. And suddenly, comparison becomes part of daily life.
“How many pages did you go through today?” “How many hours did you study?”
These innocent questions hide quiet anxiety, a constant weighing of one’s worth against someone else’s progress.
After the rush of the first year fades, many students hit a quiet wall. Motivation dips. Some begin to wonder: “Am I overdoing it? Would it really matter if I gave a little less?” When maximum effort doesn’t bring the desired results, disappointment sets in, not just in grades, but in oneself.
And beneath it all lies a deeper truth: students come to medical school with different levels of emotional resilience.
Up until now, intelligence and willpower might have been enough to manage pressure. But university life is different. There’s distance from home, new responsibilities, and a flood of decisions about who you are and what kind of person you want to become.
This period, between 19 and 25, is also a sensitive time for mental health. It’s when early signs of anxiety or depression can appear, and when coping through alcohol or other substances can feel like a “normal” student experience. The “romantic image” of the carefree, slightly drunk student hides what’s really happening: exhaustion, self-doubt, and a longing for rest.
But here’s the thing, you don’t have to carry it all alone.
Resilience isn’t something you either have or don’t. It’s something that can be built together. Through peer support, honest conversations, and a culture that values well-being as much as achievement, students can learn to see themselves as more than just results on a page.Because in the end, your worth doesn’t depend on how many exams you pass.
It depends on who you are when the books are closed and how you treat yourself in the moments when things don’t go as planned.
